I have lost my superpower (boohoo)

[warshipadmin]

My mother was not the world's greatest cook. Her legendary prowess with the pressure cooker resulted in an endless diet of overcooked veg. (it wasn't all bad but this is my story and I'll tell it the way I want).

But

She had one super power. She made fantastic bubble and squeak. (for the uninitiated basically a hash brown made from yesterdays vegetables)

I inherited this, being able to reliably burn Sunday's steamed veggies and fat together to produce a tasty if not especially healthy dish for Monday.

But try as I might this week, they cooked and burned but would not bond together. I could have added egg or breadcrumbs, but decided instead just to apologise. Tasted fine. So, who has hidden kryptonite in the kitchen?

[MikeKozlowski]

...My Mom, God rest her soul, was the child of two Italian immigrants and she was the only one of that family that could not cook to save her life. Her meatloaf was a thing of particular horror that still haunts me to this day.

Mike

[Craiglxviii]

My wife has the cooking superpower. Over the last 15 years (FIFTEEN?!? My God) I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of well-below-par meals she’s cooked.

[Nik_SpeakerToCats]

Extended family remarked that I could, if sufficiently pressed, assemble a 'fair' Sunday Roast, essentially by crafting and working a Gantt Chart.
But asking anything of me between such architecture and 'mere vittles' was a prelude to urgently ordering a fast-food delivery to replace mishap...

Trad 'Hob', 'Skillet' or 'Grille' fare ?

Result was not only inedible, but pans etc took a serious sink-soak prior to scrubbing, then two (2) rides through dish-washer.

There are welcome oases in my culinary war-zone: Pleasant ready-meals with too-few carbs, supplemented by fast mash, pasta or rice. Mash leveraging jug-kettle -- A ~250 ml tea-mug of boiling water on demand-- and *digital* kitchen scales. Similarly, microwave bacon 'crisper' that takes six thick-cut rashers and zaps them in time it takes to 'spread' three split-rolls. A sorta air-fryer, neat gas-oven pan with drain-tray and retro-fit non-stick 'fries' mesh does fish of from-frozen 'fish & chips', with latter on cooking foil on big main-tray. Or, again from-frozen, 'Pigs in Blankets'/ 'Kebabs', with 'au-gratin' potatoes and cauli packs along-side. Throwing in a couple of slices of 'Black Puddin' five minutes from end does those well.

As I have a near-pathological loathing of beef / lamb / poultry that is even slightly pink inside, I'll do neat casseroles, their oven pans lidded by kitchen foil against droughts. With, usually 20~~30 mins oven time beyond the packet instructions, to be sure, to be sure...

Also, always, recognisable if not 'al-dente' veg: Too many aunts and school meals cooked all greens unto 'spreadable'...

Eggs ? Have just acquired several competing whatsits 'guaranteed' to boil eggs unto split-roll compatible, so wire-sliceable hard-boiled, without disaster. All vulnerable components dish-washer safe...

With, always, contingency plan of fridge-raiding for split-rolls and sliced meats while wreckage soaks...
==
Disclosure: My 'Secret Super-power' is nigh-invisibility to baristas and booked taxi cabs.
Latter mitigated by wielding bold A4/Letter name-sign, as if collecting station / port passenger...

[gtg947h]

I'm a fair cook but smoking a brisket properly continues to elude me...

Also, always, recognisable if not 'al-dente' veg: Too many aunts and school meals cooked all greens unto 'spreadable'...

There were few vegetables I would eat until I started dating my wife and had dinner at her parents' house the first time. You see, Mom always cooked vegetables into near mush, because that's how my dad grew up eating them. My future in laws cooked vegetables so they were still crunchy. I started choking them down to be polite before realizing "oh wow, this isn't bad!" It was an epiphany.

[Simon Darkshade]

I taught myself to cook and barbecue, and used to do it a lot when there were more people to cook for than two; largest I've done have been ones of 300-400 people plus whole pigs and multiple briskets for fairly large agricultural shows. All by hand/sans processors and gadgets and all solo, with a typical spread having 4-8 starters, 12 main meat courses, 12 side dishes and salads and 4 desserts.

One of the things I've learnt is that many vegetables are better off being underdone, both if they are going to be reheated and for serving straight up, with the exception of potatoes, which have a more exacting 'sweet spot', particularly for bakes/gratins. The other secrets are seasoning liberally; and not just sticking to salt, but exploring which herbs/spices/substances can accentuate the taste of particularly vegetables and fruits, such as blueberries and cardamom, cumin and carrots, and coriander seeds and pumpkin (ideally through a fat source such as a flavoured butter).

I wouldn't count cooking as my superpower, or even superpower in abeyance. That is rather my impressive imitation of a pelican, as everywhere I go, I always have a great big bill in front of me.

[Belushi TD]

I used to volunteer to run the grill for my kid's Dojo's summer party. Then one year I had to work and was unable to participate. The next year, at least a dozen people came up to me and told me they were so happy I was back, because the meat the previous year had been almost inedible. Hotdogs, sausages and brats resembled charcoal sticks, burgers and chicken resembled hockey pucks, and so forth.

I can do three things very well when it comes to cooking. I can grill, I can make omelets, and I can throw a bunch of stuff together into a pot, make it taste good, and then provide something to put it over (rice, macaroni, some manner of potato....)

Belushi TD

[Simon Darkshade]

That’s two and a bit out of the six main cooking skills/areas in my very humble view - grilling, stewing or making a sauce, and one aspect of egg cooking, which is one of them. The others are roasting, frying/sauteeing and baking.

Barbecue and stir-frying are great arrows to have in one’s quiver, but if you can grill + make a concoction in a pot + fry up something quickly and efficiently + roast meat/vegetables/fish/fruit/communist infiltrators + cook eggs in their various ways + bake bread/cakes/potatoes/biscuits/muffins/poorly performing sports teams, you are pretty well set for a functional adult life.