My second best holiday ever

[Leander]

The first best holiday was when I was eleven to the newly-opened Eurodisney in Paris. The fun factor at that age is fondly remembered.

I took a short holiday recently. Less than a week from England to Ireland to see family.
I started on the Wednesday evening by taking a 7pm train from where I am in Yorkshire over to Manchester, a far bigger place. I was there by 9 and hopped on a tram to near my hotel. It is a cheap place to stay, part of a chain. The hotel is on five stories above a nine story car park: odd but I've seen similar before. Had some snacks and a shave, in bed by 11pm.
My alarm went off at 5 on the Thursday morning. Up and at 'em! No time for breakfast, which I am opposed to on principle. I walked around the corner and along to the train station. Through the station to get a train at a quarter to six. It is quick and direct to the airport with the station on-site. After getting a tiny bit lost in the airport - yeah, I was half awake - I found the check-in desks at the right terminal. The queues looked worse than they were. Before 7am by suitcase was on the conveyor and I was off to security.
Its been some time since I've been to an airport. I know what to expect and hate it. Maybe I was irritable or maybe I just look like a drug smuggler. Whatever the reason, extra checks for my person and hand luggage. So I got felt up a bit. Through security finally, then bypassed the duty-free as best as I could, to the gate. My phone app for the airline - Aer Lingus - says everything is on time with the flight. It was, before 8am I'm walking out of a door, down a slope and across the apron to a parked Airbus. Up the stairs, on the plane and into my seat. We're moving at 8:10, exactly as planned.
It was before 9am (there is no time difference though I was sure that there was) that we were landing, with a mighty bump. Bad images flashed through my frightened mind with that. Off the plane at 9:10 and into a shuttle bus. Some messing around but before 9:30 I'm getting my suitcase and then minutes later I'm out. There was a machine that I scanned my passport in and a biometric check on my face with another scanner. No human interaction at Dublin Airport for this traveller.
I found the coach stop with ease, got the ticket on another app for that up, scanned, suitcase in luggage hold, and the coach was moving. We went a weird way into Dublin. I followed in on my phone map as we went through a massive tunnel to near the port and then came through the city. I had a 1pm train already booked. This meant I was early. But I made that late booking on purpose so if things went wrong, I was good. Yet, nothing had so I was early! I got off in the city. Had a nose about though because I had my suitcase, I couldn't do much.
I brought a pre-paid card before my trip and had it loaded with spending money: Euros, which the exchange rate is similar to UK Sterling. Still, everything was expensive. Tourist traps everywhere. I asked a pretty girl for directions. She was lovely to observe but not very nice. "You're English, aren't you?" It wasn't friendly. This I was prepared for. I smiled and told her I was a Yorkshireman. That calmed things. My answer was prepared because I was worried about anti-English stuff. It sounds unreasonable to some but I know it is real. The pretty girl proved my point. Pretty how I hear you ask: red-haired, green eyes, curves. Yeah, wow.
I got on a tram and made it to Heuston Station. Interesting name indeed. A helpful sign told me it was named after a famous freedom fighter. Some people would consider such a person a terrorist. I hold no opinion on that matter. The train loaded quite early, at 12:35. I've never seen trains in Ireland and was interested. Efficient and clean: impressed. There was drama with seating but not for me. I was in mine long before the rush of people near to the hour. Come the time, we're off with no delays at all.

My family live down in County Cork. I could have flown to Cork, even Kerry, but Dublin it was for me. A two hour trip. I was a window gazer throughout. Mountains, valleys and all that good green stuff. Mallow was my destination, last stop before Cork on the intercity route. I reached there just after 3pm. Before I did, I texted my eldest niece to say I was almost there. She said she would pick me up. Well, that took some time. Everyone else was either met from the train or got in their own cars. Time ticked by. I was kinda on my own, like I'd been forgotten about. I was reading a tourist leaflet - yeah, I was a bit bored - when my name was called. I turnaround and it was Caitlin. She didn't recognise me apparently because of the way I was dressed, my hat, my turned back and the big fat suitcase. This was all not me supposedly. I gave her a massive hug. It's been a year since I've seen her. She's had some drama in her life and I miss her. She is my favourite of my nieces and nephews. I'm not supposed to have favourites but the eldest one is my favourite. Oh, and Caitlin hates hugs. So she got a massive hug.
Her mum was in the car. Anna is my brother's widow. She moved to Ireland after we lost my brother. I've known Anna twenty-two years. We've never had a row. We both lost the same person whom we were each close to. It didn't bring us closer together. That's all on me too. I have so much respect for her for how she has raised her children. Wonderful person and I'm just crap when it comes to keeping close.
My whole visit was meant to be a complete surprise for everyone but her. She had said a hundred times to come visit. I've always made excuses not to. I see her and her children when they visit other relatives in London where I go to meet them for a few days while staying in hotels by myself and they are at their (maternal) grandparent's house. I know for a fact Anna didn't think I would come: she would have expected me to back out at the last minute. Caitlin wasn't supposed to know but a week beforehand she had made big plans for a few days in Cork. Anna told me she had to tell her to not go and was forced to tell her why. Caitlin didn't tell her siblings though did tell me she knew the secret. I wasn't upset. She's twenty, she has a life and I shouldn't have expected that I could successfully pull off a surprise visit with regards to her.
In the car out of Mallow for a twenty minute drive to a little village in the middle of nowhere. To the house with remarks made about my huge suitcase. Why did I bring so much stuff? Didn't I always travel light? Seriously, what was in my suitcase? Clothes, smart shoes, dressing gown, jackets, washbag, books, little presents, more clothes. Stuff I needed.
We reached Anna's house. Its a five bedroom place, in the middle of the village. Anna opened the front door while Caitlin made the mistake of trying to lift my suitcase without mentally preparing herself for how heavy it was: 19kg at the airport, just under the weight limit.
My other niece Lauren and my nephews Calum & Charlie were called down to the front door for a surprise. I was hoping for screams of delight. Didn't happen that way. Still, no negative reactions. Smiles and happiness. That was a-okay with me. Lauren hates cuddles even more than Caitlin: the former is seventeen. I apologised before I lifted her up, spun her around. Now there was a scream, this one to put her down. Calum fist-bumped me, he's eighteen, while Charlie, who is eleven & a little so-and-so, just wanted to know what his present was.

This children are the people whom I love unconditionally. I've been engaged but never married. I'm a single guy with no offspring, estranged from the rest of my family. But these kids are amazing. There're all so different in personality but raised well with hopefully good futures. They lost their father young yet have thrived under their mother and her family, some of whom live in Ireland too. Seeing them always cheers me up. I'm a short-tempered person usually but never with them. Never. No matter what.
The Thursday was my birthday. I'd had a eight hour trip and travelled far, even molested by a strange man in a security uniform at Manchester Airport. Zero stress in me though. Presents given. For Anna, a bottle of wine that I've been told she liked. For Charlie a voucher for his online game, brought in Dublin so it worked (a UK one might not have). Socks for Lauren that had 'I love Harry' (as in the singer Styles) written on them. A copy of a book I had written for Caitlin because for years she's wanted something her writer uncle created. No present for Calum but a promise to get him it within days: he's into the gym and wants the whey powder nonsense, which I didn't get in Dublin less I get the wrong one, because it would have to be perfect. I got a cake for my birthday. I had asked Anna for a pink one. That was a semi-serious joke. She had it hidden in the cupboard and it was pink with Fairy Princess icing decoration. I kid you not. Good banter there. Candles. Only five of them despite my forty-three years.
I let Roisin blow out the candles. She's five and Anna's daughter by a local Irishman: they're separated. I've met Roisin before, twice. Both times she has been apprehensive of me. But that's all good. I can relate to little ones when necessary. I crouched down and gave her a sweet. I've found this works. I'm not usually the type of man who hands out sweets to little children - honest -, yet Anna had said this was okay and would work. Plus, I told her she could blow out the candles.
We had Chinese takeaway for dinner. Caitlin brought it. Such a meal was going to cost quite a bit. No, she wouldn't take any money. Yes, I tried to help pay and while defeated, didn't accept final defeat on that matter. The meal cost more money because other relatives, who barely know me, came to visit. Oh, let's come poke & prod the visitor... and get some Chinese too. Fine. I wouldn't let them spoil my day nor have the kids see me annoyed at such a thing.
I asked Caitlin what she wanted to do after dinner. The pub was what that was. It is over the road, literally. So we went there at about 10pm. It was a real local's place and friendly people got the 'I'm a Yorkshireman' reply when they asked me where I was from. Caitlin had a couple of pints of cider. I don't drink. I can but I am a miserable drunk. I was in Ireland to be happy so I had a lemonade. Caitlin was smoking and drinking with no negative comments from me. She's had boyfriend issues and stressed. I listened and gritted my teeth to contain my feelings of rage. I wanted to find this guy and flush his head down the toilet... one which I had violated my bowels into first. The pub officially shut at half eleven but we didn't leave to 1am.
Sleep for me after a long but great day.

Roisin was up when I was, early on Friday. She showed my some youtube videos on her kid-friendly pad thingy. At that age, she's happy in the mornings. Her mum and everyone else was soon up. I was happy. Smile on my face despite the hour. The kids were off from school and college & university. Calum didn't want to come out for the day but the other three did. It was Lauren's choice. She wanted to go into Cork. Local bus service and a thirty-minute train trip. Fun fun fun. In Cork there were things to see but it was a Lauren Day so she decided where we went. I was all good with that.
Charlie did a deal with her to let him pick at least one place to take me. The girls went off to a clothes shop while I went with the boy to an arcade. I'm like, what, an arcade? Money. But, I twice found coins on the floor so he could play extra games. And I thrashed him at air hockey too. Beat him five-zero. He would have known if I'd let him win and he has to learn defeat in the air hockey championships of Feb 2025.
When we got back to the house in the evening, one of Caitlin's best friends was there: Shannon. She is the same age and Irish as they come. I could understand one word in five from her. I just nodded and kept saying yes. Fun girl, right at home in that house too. Caitlin wanted to go the pub again. If it sounds like she has a drinking problem at twenty, she doesn't. She's a uni student and only drinks a bit, just often. Shannon didn't come but in the pub we met Luke: another best friend. He is the cliché gay-best-friend for a girl. We got on though I liked Shannon more than Luke. not my type of person though I could understand what he was saying. I drank a single beer along with a couple of lemonades too. Me having the beer made Caitlin happy: I understand that. She has never seen me drunk and never will. I don't want to have her witness my morose behaviour under the influence. Pub closed late again that Friday night.

Saturday morning up early and talking to bubbly Roisin first thing the same as the day before, then the rest of the house rises slowly as if they are zombies. It was a day for the boys. Calum didn't want to do anything fun though. I can't blame him. He's eighteen and I'm an aged relative while his younger brother is too young to hang out with for long. I was undeterred by a grumpy teenager. He likes the gym so we went there. I am not a gym person. He really is. Calum has a routine. He made me do what he did, showing off what he did and laughing at me as I did everything he did under instruction. The boy can lift serious weights. I brought him loads of whey powder and listened to a whole load of gobbleygook about gaining strength and all of that malarkey. The boy is obsessed.
Charlie didn't want to do much when I spent time with him later. He's into games so I sat with him and let him show me everything, listening to him talk. It was like being with Calum but about gaming rather than gym. But whatever! It's quality time.
Lauren wanted to make me dinner. I ate it all. She dragged me into a politics conversation, which I couldn't get out of. I was shocked. Here is a seventeen year-old young woman with right-wing views. Not far right, of course, but enough to surely lose friends among progressive youngsters her own age. When I say 'right', I mean right-of-centre. Sensible stuff, where I am too politically, but just unexpected. She certainly is a surprise. That was all very surreal.
The night. You can guess where I went again, can't you? The pub. No beer for me, this time a couple of cokes instead of lemonade. Caitlin forced a cigarette on me with the full knowledge I am an ex-smoker struggling to forget my addition. When I got back to her house, I brushed my teeth and scrubbed my hands & face. My leather jacket now smells of that lone cigarette though, I am certain.

Sunday morning I did something just insane. I let loose some internal gas as I went to sit down on the sofa while there was an animal there. Translation: I farted on Roisin's cat. Which was an accident which she witnessed. The little girl was horrified. I have the sense of humour of someone her age and couldn't stop laughing. She ran to her mum and told her, fearful that the bemused cat would never recover from the ordeal. I laughed more though hoped she wouldn't cry. To make up for it, I apologised to the cat and took Roisin to the play park. I'm not related to the girl officially though she had asked the day before if I was her 'half-uncle'. No, I'm just a family friend to her. In the park I pushed her on the swings, lifted her to the top of the slide & caught her at the bottom and put her on the zip-wire thing. On the second go with the latter, she slipped. Roisin scratched her hand. No cut, no bruise. This time she cried. There were other people about as this strange man (me) tried to pick up and console a distraught local girl who they must recognise as not belonging to me. Not that I wanted it to happen, but no one came over to make a citizen's arrest on me for maybe having hold of this girl and being a potential kidnapper. I had to take Roisin home injured. Never had any of Anna's children been brought home by me with any injury at all. The first time I take Roisin anywhere and here is this scratch on her hand which I am responsible for... not long after what happened with her cat.
None of this put a dampener on my day. Roisin might be mentally scarred for life though after Sunday morning.
I took the girls into Cork by midday. We had a meal in a nice but not fancy restaurant. Caitlin will eat anywhere but Lauren, like me, is fussy. It was an Italian place and we each had looked online first at the menu. We get there and the prices are higher. I refused to get mad. Nice meal and I paid even when they each had money to chip in. I told them to spend that money on their mum. We went to get ice cream next. There is a shop doing AMAZING ice cream. Excellently presented, great staff. And it is cheap. Too cheap. They could charge twice the price, triple even and it would be worth it. I've made speculative plans for my future as the owner of that shop and the millions I'd earn. The girls went shopping. I went with them, into clothes shops. Hell, my brain said. My heart said this makes the girls happy so I was happy.
Sunday night and no pub. Monday was going to be early for everyone.
I missed the pub.

Monday morning and I'm first up, beating even Roisin. I spoke to her. She hadn't forgiven me for the cat, showed me her injured hand - where had the scratch gone overnight though? - and maybe she'd forgive me one day if I'm lucky. I packed my case and was ready. Lauren and Charlie were still in bed. I'd checked the night before if it was okay to do what I did so I knocked then entered each one's room to say goodbye. Charlie growled at me while Lauren said goodbye but, because she is a teenager, refused to move. I think she went back to sleep. The other two and their mum were up. Anna was getting lunches ready and other mum stuff first thing while Caitlin and Calum were ready for the 7:20 bus to Mallow. My suitcase drew more comments due to its size. Goodbyes and a truly-meant thank you for having me to stay.
Three of us got on the bus. Calum is at college in Cork while Caitlin is at university there. We changed transport at Mallow and Calum was straight off for a train: he's got a pass so it's cheap. He gave me a hug. Which is messed up because he's a teenage boy. Whatever, that was nice. Caitlin waited with me for my train, assuring me that uni didn't start early. More stories about the ex-boyfriend. I really do want to do that toilet thing to him. My train came. She hugged me and waved me off. I pulled faces at the window because I am so mature.

I got into Dublin, back at Heuston. There I paid a fortune for a greeting card, a 'Thank You' one. I filled it out to all six of the people whose house I just stayed in for four nights. A thank you for the cake and fun times. 40euros in cash for expenses went into it too, even though I'd been told no one would accept any money off me. They can turn it down in person but not by post. Then I had trouble with the mechanics of posting it. So I had to find a post office.
I love history. I know what the GPO building is and what happened there. It was an accident that I went to that one. The tram stopped nearby. Only after I posted the card did I realise that this was such a historical place! Brilliant. Saw some history.
Back to the train station to get the airport coach: like before my bookings were made to give me time to spare in case of any delays. Through an automated check-in - weird - and nice security people in Ireland who didn't want to fondle me. Plane delayed by 90mins but it was all good. To Manchester and across Manchester. On a train across Yorkshire. Home by 11pm the Monday night.

Second best holiday ever.

[Belushi TD]

That may be the best sort of stream of consciousness post I've ever read.

And I'm very glad you had such a good time.

Belushi TD

[warshipadmin]

That's lovely but to be honest I dislike 'surprise' events. My grandmother on one side was from Cork.