General Discussion Thread

[Poohbah]

How in the heck did they get this far? Not to mention how they can breath and walk at the same time?

To the first: copious amounts of ass-kissing; to the second: not a clue.

Roberta is laughing about how most men are utterly predictable in their penchant for going into a serious IQ deficit when a sufficiently cute woman wiggles her ass at them. "Sufficiently cute" is, of course, an independent variable.

[Johnnie Lyle]

How in the heck did they get this far? Not to mention how they can breath and walk at the same time?

To the first: copious amounts of ass-kissing; to the second: not a clue.

They don’t care about anything but themselves.

[jemhouston]

How in the heck did they get this far? Not to mention how they can breath and walk at the same time?

To the first: copious amounts of ass-kissing; to the second: not a clue.

They don’t care about anything but themselves.

Then they should have gone into politics.

[Johnnie Lyle]

To the first: copious amounts of ass-kissing; to the second: not a clue.

They don’t care about anything but themselves.

Then they should have gone into politics.

Self-awareness doesn’t seem to be one of their virtues.

[jemhouston]

You made my point.

[Wolfman]

You made my point.

Even politicians have standards…

[TheMann]

You made my point.

Even politicians have standards…

You sure about that? Because some politicians honestly I don't think have depths they won't go....

[Poohbah]

Welp.

It seems that the PACCS Squadron at Grissom decided to throw a squadron party yesterday to properly celebrate sportsball.

Crew Three's Emergency Actions Officer had been planning on spending time with her boyfriend, Crew Three's Mission Commander, at said party.

Crew Three's Mission Commander brought his wife.

Hilarity Ensued. Hilarity, in this instance, turned into a multi-crew brawl that was live-streamed on Instagram and YouTube, and included the squadron exec getting his chimes rung by one of the CSP military working dog handlers assigned to the squadron for reasons as yet unknown.

One of our one-stars has been tasked with the JAGMAN investigation. (I told him that JAGMAN investigations build character. He explained that he doesn't need to build any more character, as he already is one--specifically, the Comic Relief.)

I am recommending charges against whoever shot the cell phone video; damn it, I thought everyone knew by now that you're supposed to turn the phone horizontal!

[Matryoshka]

[shakes head]
The toast is “To our wives and our girlfriends: may they never meet!” for good reasons, you chuckleheads.

I’d ask why the hell this keeps happening to supposedly serious-minded, mature adults who have heretofore demonstrated the ability to act responsibly, but I already know the answer: too many officers disengaging their primary thinking-organ in favour of the back-up. It’s a hell of a lot harder to get caught cheating if you never actually cheat in the first place, but I suppose that’s just too much like, y’know, good sense.

[jemhouston]

Repeat after me, "Common Sense is so rare it's a F**KY Superpower!"

[Poohbah]

[shakes head]
The toast is “To our wives and our girlfriends: may they never meet!” for good reasons, you chuckleheads.

I’d ask why the hell this keeps happening to supposedly serious-minded, mature adults who have heretofore demonstrated the ability to act responsibly, but I already know the answer: too many officers disengaging their primary thinking-organ in favour of the back-up. It’s a hell of a lot harder to get caught cheating if you never actually cheat in the first place, but I suppose that’s just too much like, y’know, good sense.

Roberta has had many a good laugh over the years about some of women who tried to flirt with me...because I didn't even notice.

Although she's also had her share of offers. Shortly after I was awarded the first gong for Lubbock Airport, we went down to Cabo San Lucas--I had been invited by the Sergeant Major of the 26th Marines to speak at a staff NCO call about my experiences. While we were there, she got hit on at the beach by a 19-year-old Lance Corporal. (As she put it, either he had a kielbasa in his swim trunks, or he was very happy to see her.)

Mind you, she was on the far side of 45.

He very bluntly suggested that they go back to her hotel room, where he would, "...screw [her] brains out."

Her response: "If it's a matter of screwing each other's brains out, you'd last about two seconds, and I'd have to use my Hitachi to get off. No thanks, I'll stick with my husband."

[Wolfman]

What in the name of God is going on in the Chair Force, Poohbah? Has everyone over there caught a case of the STUPIDS?

[Poohbah]

What in the name of God is going on in the Chair Force, Poohbah? Has everyone over there caught a case of the STUPIDS?

The usual case of man + wife + side chick = drama.

Roberta has told me that if I ever need a mistress, she's doing the selection interviews. Applicants must be smokin' hot on the brunette-redhead spectrum (auburn hair preferred), extremely intelligent, widely read, and morally unsalvageable.

Me: "That sounds suspiciously like you."

Her: "Exactly. Meet me at the Hotel Paseo in two hours, stud-muffin."

[Johnnie Lyle]

What in the name of God is going on in the Chair Force, Poohbah? Has everyone over there caught a case of the STUPIDS?

A suitably enraged and drunk PAO has yet to walk into a sufficiently high-ranking officer’s office and respectfully request permission to serve on the firing squad or the service pick up his bar tab as essential mental health support.

I suspect making a PAO tour mandatory for anyone who wants to make bird colonel/captain will drastically cut down on the stupidity or increase the ability to hide it.

Also, ban mayonnaise packets.

[jemhouston]

You know, if you hang a few people that would clean things up.

[Matryoshka]

He very bluntly suggested that they go back to her hotel room, where he would, "...screw [her] brains out."

Her response: "If it's a matter of screwing each other's brains out, you'd last about two seconds, and I'd have to use my Hitachi to get off. No thanks, I'll stick with my husband."

... Roberta flat-out murders a kid in broad daylight and gets away with it, while I’m still trying to deal with the lateness-fine on re-registering my car. TANJ, man....

[Poohbah]

He very bluntly suggested that they go back to her hotel room, where he would, "...screw [her] brains out."

Her response: "If it's a matter of screwing each other's brains out, you'd last about two seconds, and I'd have to use my Hitachi to get off. No thanks, I'll stick with my husband."

... Roberta flat-out murders a kid in broad daylight and gets away with it, while I’m still trying to deal with the lateness-fine on re-registering my car. TANJ, man....

Remember, this happened 12 years ago.

She's also insufferably pleased that she still gets hit on by kids barely out of high school. The California DMV told her that "GYLF" was not available as a custom plate...

[clancyphile]

IC/Jeb Pruitt:

Sheesh, and the biggest excitement we had here was a couple of kids finding a Spetsznaz cache. They decided "finders keepers," and took the stuff home. All of it.

First inkling they had it: the S-2 of the 194th Armored Brigade got an envelope full of documents left on his doorstep (turns out, he coaches the American Legion baseball team one of the kids was on).

He looks it over, realizes it's genuine. Goes, "Holy shit."

Then he finds an inventory sheet (none of the kids knew Russian). Now he knows that there's about a dozen assault rifles, 30 kilos of Semtex, four cases of hand grenades, three RPGs, a pair of SA-14s, appropriate ammo, and a suitcase nuke out in the wild. Not to mention a stash of cash, gems, and gold.

Cue a very quiet, but high-priority search. Which took some time as said kids didn't boast of the find or anything. One of the kids, who pretty much wants to have his own auto repair shop, was keeping the nuke in the garage his parents let him use to fix up a 1995 Honda SUV.

NEST got the nuke, but Kentucky has some very... relaxed regulations on everything else. Plus, there is the "finders keepers" part. Then there's the fact this stuff was Soviet-era...

Guess whose office got a call when the kids decided the Feds were being overbearing?

[Wolfman]

I assume you told them to sit down and STFU?

[jemhouston]

Slightly dumb questions, how stable is that Semtex and the suitcase nuke, how much has it leaked?

The kid just got funding for his shop.

It's still a felony to have a nuke in your house.