Well this was a new unpleasant experience

[Micael]

Currently in the ER ward of a hospital with my dad. Not in the town he (and mom) live in, nor the one I live in, but about halfway in between.

How we got here, well here’s a story for you.

Earlier today I’d just finished a military course weekend when I get a call from my mom. ”I don’t know where your dad is.” Come again?

Turns out that yesterday afternoon my mom went to the ER nearest to her with gall stone issues. The ER didn’t let my dad, who has known memory issues/probably dementia, in with her due to covid restrictions. So he grabbed the keys to my mom’s car and drove off. And disappeared. He talked to my mom on the phone (while was herself confused due to having been given morphine), and said that he was both here and there, in improbable locations. When my mom came home from the hospital and he wasn’t home she tried to call him again but he didn’t answer. So finally she calls me. Well crap.

Soooo, phone up the police and start a whole missing person case (very helpful cops btw) and you know, give info on where he might have gone, who he knew and all that. After a few calls back and forth, squad cars running around looking for him in his home town, I get another call.
”Hey you said you were driving here from Stockholm right?”
”Yep, I’m at X now” ”We’ve traced his cell phone to Y” I’d passed Y half an hour earlier on my way to where he lives. Okay, turnaround time and head into Y to start hunting. Another call. ”We stopped him at Z” another town over along the motorway. ”Taking him to the hospital in Y for checkup, confused but relatively okay.”

Well phew. So now my mom’s car is at a gas station in Z where the cops dropped it off because it was almost out of gas. Me and dad in an exam room in Y. He seems to be fairly okay otherwise, I was concerned because he hadn’t taken his insulin, but it just seems to be that he is quite confused.

Now awaiting a doc to see what they say, if he needs to remain here for now or if I can take him home.

Big issues, but it could have been much worse.

[jemhouston]

Good news and some luck all around.

[Nik_SpeakerToCats]

Glad it unwound okay.

Too often culminates in car briefly driving wrong way up motorway --Remembering pre-upgrade route-- or car found deep in shrubs weeks later, or dog-walkers find body-parts...

{ Shudder... }

Um, just an insulin / stress exacerbated excursion or approaching ankle-tag acquisition stage ??

My elderly kith & kin have so far divided sorta-evenly between those whose bodies failed before their wits and vice-versa.
Growing old gracefully is hard...

[Micael]

Good news and some luck all around.

Yep, thank you.

[Micael]

Glad it unwound okay.

Too often culminates in car briefly driving wrong way up motorway --Remembering pre-upgrade route-- or car found deep in shrubs weeks later, or dog-walkers find body-parts...

{ Shudder... }

Um, just an insulin / stress exacerbated excursion or approaching ankle-tag acquisition stage ??

My elderly kith & kin have so far divided sorta-evenly between those whose bodies failed before their wits and vice-versa.
Growing old gracefully is hard...

Probably a dementia/alzheimers issue that’s gradually getting worse. Thanks.

[David Newton]

Turns out that yesterday afternoon my mom went to the ER nearest to her with gall stone issues. The ER didn’t let my dad, who has known memory issues/probably dementia, in with her due to covid restrictions.

COVID restrictions. To me that's medical malpractice and/or an extremely serious safeguarding issue. He's known to have memory problems that are likely dementia and they simply stopped him coming because of "COVID restrictions". There are some very, very serious questions that hospital needs to answer.

[Nathan45]

I'm very sorry to hear that but I'm glad it was resolved as well as it was. Both my Grandmother and Father have dementia, My Grandmother died of it but hopefully it progresses better with my Dad. I'm sure you likely considered this before, but there are several tracking apps/wrist bands that might be appropriate for your Father at this point.

[warshipadmin]

My aunt was supposed to drive from St Albans (near London) to my sister's, near Chester, about a 3 or 4 hour drive. She ended up driving up and around Scotland and I think it was 3 days before they found her. No more driving for you Janet. Amazingly at 92 she is still reasonably fit, if living in the eternal present.

[Nightwatch2]

Glad it has worked out.

I’ve been dealing with similar issues with my dad (98 in a couple of months)

[Sukhoiman]

Sorry to hear that all Micael, and glad it turned out ok in the end, phew indeed.

One more thing to pay attention to going forward for you all. Maybe you do need to put some kind of app on his phone etc so you always know where he is.

[Rocket J Squrriel]

Glad to hear everyone is safe.

Dealing with dementia in someone you love is horrible. My Beloved suffered through that the last couple of weeks before she passed from a glioblastoma tumor. The hospice found her a place in a wonderful nursing home that took care of her. Before all this she told me that I was not to spend all the time at her bedside. She wanted my memories of her to be good ones. Of course I disobeyed and still have the great memories.

[Micael]

Thanks everyone.

Bit of an update, the hospital/ER they took him to proved to be one of the better functioning ones I’ve come across. Got served coffee and sandwiches in the room while waiting for the doc to see dad even. So kudos to them, less kudos to the other hospital which contributed to this whole thing kicking off. Again kudos to a bunch of very helpful and efficient police officers for managing to help me find him in a fairly short amount of time. I got to drive him home the 170 km or so last night, now I just have to figure out the logistics of retriving my mom’s car and getting it home as well, and myself back to my place eventually.

[Craiglxviii]

Micael. I’ve just caught up with this. Firstly, please accept our best wishes to your family and our hopes that both of your parents see a significant recovery and improvement in the very near future.

Both Mrs LXVIII and I are now seeing similar issues, her father and my mother are showing signs of the same problem, both in their mid-70s; her mother and my father both have mobility issues.

I’m so glad that your mum is safe and that your dad was found and safely recovered

[Nik_SpeakerToCats]

Ditto.

{ Shudder... }

[rtoldman]

wow - what a difficult experience. Glad you have found dad and that mom is now ok. Dementia is natures cruel reward for surviving beyond the human warranty date. Time for an airtag on the car and the keys.

[Micael]

Thanks guys. Today I’ve driven my car back home, took bus and train to where my mom’s car was, and then drove it to my parents’ place where I am now. I note that the police officers weren’t exagerrating when they said that there wasn’t much fuel left in the car. When I got to it at a parking lot next to a gas station it wouldn’t even turn on. So I had to spend fifteen minutes pushing it to a pump, amid rush hour traffic. So that was interesting as well.

Oh well, that’s okay. Worked out as best it could.

[Sukhoiman]

yeah I guess carrying a jerry can of gas on public transport might have gotten some stares to say the least...

[Micael]

yeah I guess carrying a jerry can of gas on public transport might have gotten some stares to say the least...

That is that, and I wasn’t aware that it was to the point where it wouldn’t turn over as the police had driven it to where they parked it. And it was an unmanned gas station so no jerry cans, and I didn’t feel like a massive trek to go hunt one down so muscle power it was. Good thing it’s a Hyundai i20 so not a very big car at least.

[JBG]

I am glad it sort of worked out in the end Michael.

My father ended up with dementia and late onset epilepsy. They really took off when my mother died. Luckily I already had moved back home when my engagement crashed and burnt so I could look after both - mum had had a bad fall then tumours galore.

It is not easy on several levels caring for someone with those conditions and you have my sympathy and hopes that you have endless patience and compassion.

Jonathan

[Micael]

Thanks Jonathan, it is all too common with these issues it seems. My dad’s mother had Alzheimers as well and that was disconcerting back then, for him especially, and he is troubled by that experience when reflecting over his own memory issues, when he is more clear headed. But it is what it is unfortunately.