Dark Earth Timeline Discussion

[Simon Darkshade]

August 1975
August 1: Hank Williams scores his first chart topping hit in over a decade with LPs and new cassette tapes of Lonesome Boy, a doleful duet with Dolly Parton, selling by the thousands and tens of thousands across the United States as country and western fans relish his comeback record. Some predict that Williams might even become the first country artist to top the mainstream pop charts.
August 2: Beginning of the Satellite Instructional Television Programme in India, with over 2500 villages provided with television through the auspices of the Ministry of Space and its Indian subsidiary. Ambitious plans for the complete electrification of entire Union of India by the year 2000 are seemingly on track, driven by a plan for twenty fusion power plants and considerable new hydroelectrical capacity, whilst a goal for a literacy rate of 60% by the same year is fraught with more complications. Perhaps the most expansive task is that which lays before Indian Railways, which seeks to build or import 25,000 new modern locomotives, 200,000 passenger cars and 500,000 freight wagons in the next 15 years, along with refurbishing up to half of India's 15,000 railway stations.
August 3: The Admiralty finalises the armament suite of the new Type 23 anti-surface warfare frigates due to begin construction in the second half of 1977, with the ships to carry two twin 125mm mounts, an increased number of Paladin and Sea Eagle anti-ship strike missiles in the new Vertical Launch System cells, and an innovative new type of dual-purpose rocket torpedo.
August 4: Terrorists of the Japanese Red Army assault the U.S. consulate in Kuala Lumpur, taking 52 hostages. Within hours, the consulate is surrounded by Malay, British and U.S. forces, with the latter being flown in from Thailand on supersonic transports. Negotiations continue through the night before a heavily armed team from a hitherto secret U.S. Special Forces unit enters the building through the walls using advanced sorcery and eliminates all but one terrorist whilst concealed by special invisibility cloaks and freeing the hostages.
August 5: An armoured car of the Hang Seng Bank carrying just over 100 million Hong Kong dollars is held up by a gang of heavily armed robbers lying in ambush, but their well planned getaway is foiled by young martial artist and budding actor Jackie Chan, who crashes through the roof of their car after pratfalling off a nearby roof during the filming of an insurance commercial. He disarms the two conscious robbers and manages to keep them from escaping before the arrival of a Special Wizardry and Tactics team of the Royal Hong Kong Police and a patrolling section of RHKP Gurkhas take control of the crime scene.
August 6: Birth of a fifth child, a son named Albert Phillip Louis Charles, to the Prince and Princess of Wales, at Buckingham Palace. Both mother and infant are reported to be well, with the new arrival weighing in at 8lb 12oz. The news is met by celebratory gun salutes by the Army and Royal Navy, whilst church bells ring out across the land and bonfires are lit that night in traditional fashion. There are some reports that His Royal Highness may soon be appointed Governor-General of Australia, having previously undergone part of his education there and becoming fond of the country and its peoples.
August 7: Release of The Battle of the South China Sea, a naval war film based around the huge battles between the Royal Navy and Imperial Japanese Navy in the South China Sea and Malaya in early 1942, starring Anthony Quayle as Admiral of the Fleet Sir Andrew Cunningham, Toshiro Mifune as Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto, Michael Hordern as Admiral Sir Bruce Fraser, Harry Andrews as Field Marshal Wavell, Sean Connery as General Sir William Slim, Alfred Lynch as Rear Admiral Sir Philip Vian and Michael Caine as General Okill Wearmouth. The picture attracts positive reviews for the use of special effects and miniatures, as well as real warships, to show the scale of the fleets involved in the strategic Allied victory, but one piece, by a Roger Ebert, states that it perhaps chose the wrong month to be released, with both The Star Wars and Jaws still attracting full houses.
August 8: Collapse of the Banqiao Dam in China, leading to widespread flooding of the Ru River in Henan Province, which is thought to directly drowned over 20,000 people and lead to the deaths of tens of thousands of others due to subsequent famine, disease and the aftereffects of flooding. The Emperor of China declares privately that he will permit no further dams to be built across the entirety of his domain unless they are proof against the worst that man or nature can muster.
August 9: Kidnapping of the 21 year old heir to the multimillion dollar fortune of the Bronfman family, owners of the Canadian Seagram's whiskey company, by parties unknown after a family dinner in upstate New York. Eager to avoid any harm to young Samuel Bronfman, the family indicates that they are prepared to pay the ransom; an urgent long distance telephone call to Los Angeles is placed shortly afterwards from a neighbour's mansion.
August 10: The local Premier of the government of the Comoros Islands is overthrown by a group of police, prior to being restored to power by the French garrison later that afternoon, with a battalion of French reinforcements being flown in from Reunion to maintain order. French Premier d'Ambreville has announced plans for the incorporation of multiple parts of the French Empire into France proper for ease of administration.
August 11: USAF and RCAF fighters are scrambled to intercept two Soviet Tu-95 strategic jet bombers in airspace near the Aleutian Islands, with the Red planes subsequently escorted until they fly back over the Soviet Komandorski Islands. Copious photographs are taken of the bombers, as is customary, with a number of hitherto unseen pods and what appear to be defensive installations mounted on the aircraft.
August 12: New Zealand runner John Walker breaks the world record for the mile at a meet in Gothenburg, recording a time of 3 minutes and 49.4 seconds, some 10 seconds faster than Roger Bannister's run in 1954. It is widely anticipated that Walker will be one of the chief challengers for the gold medal in the mile at the New York City Olympics next year, and that he is capable of pushing the record time further down, in something of an ironic feat considering his name. A number of other British Commonwealth middle distance runners are among his potential rivals for the Olympics and beyond to the Empire Games, including the young Sebastian Coe.
August 13: US and British intelligence confirms the development of a new highly advanced Soviet 'superfighter', provisionally codenamed the MiG-31 Firefox, through national technical means and human intelligence sources. A highly secret plan to attempt to steal information on the aircraft, or even steal the prototype itself once it is able to fly, begins to be considered in the Pentagon.
August 14: Reformation of the Commonwealth Corps to control Australian and New Zealand units deployed to Germany with the British Army of the Rhine, consisting of the 1st Australian Armoured Division, 2nd New Zealand Division, 3rd Rhodesian Division and 4th South African Armoured Division. There are plans for the formation to split into SARAC and ANZAC elements in due course, should the current relative peace with Indonesia and in Rhodesia hold.
August 15: The Japanese television network NNS begins scouting locations in Northern China and Inner Mongolia after becoming the first Japanese production given permission to film in Imperial China since the Sino-Japanese War. The production is intended to be a fantastical historical drama based on the 16th century novel Journey to the West, with a range of Japanese dramatic actors being sought for the major roles. Consideration was given to the role of Su Wukong being played by an actual talking simian, but the nature of that monkey was irrepressible; he had to be let go after becoming overly fond of his personal assistant and leading to a subsequent lawsuit.
August 16: A party of explorers in Colombia come across the long lost ruins of a city concealed in the overgrown and mountainous Sierra Nevada de Santa Maria, with initial observations leading them to believe that the site could be thousands of years old. One member of the party finds a large clearing surrounded by standing stones carved with images of what he perceives to be flying saucers, leading him to claim in a newspaper article that the modern phenomenon of UFOs is in fact merely part of a long history of visitors from far away; he is subsequently sued by Erik von Danniken for use of his idea.
August 17: Samuel Bronfman is rescued by 'The A-Team', with the famous skilled commandos driving a black van through the wall of a New York City hideout, even as the kidnappers had successfully misdirected the efforts of the NYPD and FBI to track them down. Despite a heavy gun battle, no one is shot, and the hapless criminals, badly bruised but intact, are left trussed up like prize dodos for New York's finest to collect them; Bronfman is returned unharmed and mostly unshaken to his home in Purchase by a cigar chomping taxi driver, who is heard to remark that 'he loves it when a plan comes together.'
August 18: Forward deployed CIA officers in Southern Laos report receiving information from refugees and clandestine sources of the increased presence of dark elves in North Vietnam, apparently operating with the Group of Soviet Forces deployed in support of Hanoi. The report is immediately highly classified and sent for consideration in Langley.
August 19: The Venezuelan government rejects a proposal for the nationalisation of foreign oil interests in the South American nation, with one minister stating that such a course of action would be the inevitable cause of either indirect or direct conflict with the United States, and that would not result in any positive outcomes for the country and its people. They rather elect to negotiate a new series of even more lucrative profit sharing agreements, increasing the state's share from 50% to 60% by 1980, in addition to annual payments; it is estimated that the income of such agreements, which are likely to be accepted by American and British petroleum companies, will increase Venezuela's government revenue sufficient to fund an expansive series of public works in Caracas and other cities, as well as electrify much of the countryside.
August 20: A Texan bicycle rider is struck by an idea for carrying drinking water in an IV bag on his back in a sock whilst riding, with drinking tube attached. He subsequently trials his invention on his next ride, then adds a valve to the tube to allow for easier consumption. He subsequently patents and markets his idea, and whilst the HydraPack proves to not be a greater seller initially, it attracts the interest of a captain based at Fort Hood.
August 21: Fabrique Nationale opens a new small arms manufacturing plant in Pont Llanio in Wales, with the facility projected to employ more than 2500 people, and the Belgian firm having been attracted by lucrative British government incentives, and ongoing negotiations regarding a British Army order for a modified version of the new FN Minimi as an automatic rifle. Long term discussions on a potential new British service rifle continue at a fairly slow pace, with a number of different calibres and guns proposed, along with simply upgrading the current L1A1 and L2A1 combination, such as the current integration of laser sights.
August 22: The Soviet Union conducts nine salvoed nuclear tests on Novaya Zemlya, breaking all previous records on the sheer scale of testing. US intelligence analysts are torn between the motivation being the development of a new nuclear drive for deep space cruisers or some sort of underground atomic warfare device.
August 23: Glenelg kick the highest score in in SANFL and senior Australian Rules football history, scoring 55.26 (356) to Central Districts 11.14 (80), with Fred Phillis scoring 24.6. The enormous victory sets up an intriguing final stage to the season, with reigning Magarey Medallist Russell Ebert thought to be neck and neck with North Adelaide champion Barrie Robran for this season's league best and fairest. As the best league outside of the VFL - and being ahead of it in a number of metrics - the potential of a South Australian side has been of great interest to the agents of Colonel X. Marmaduke Glossop-Portankington III, who has offered to invest a fabulous 25 million US dollars in the sport.
August 24: The first 'Soccer Bowl' is held by the North American Soccer League (even as its officials protest that this was the eighth such championship game), with the Springfield Atoms defeating the San Jose Earthquakes 1-0 in front of a crowd of almost 30,000 at C. Montgomery Burns Stadium in Springfield. A number of US sports journalists comment that the Soccer Bowl is able to go off without a hitch, in stark contrast to the plague of woes seemingly besetting American football.
August 25: Unveiling of a new advanced Anglo-American amphibious warship concept incorporating capacity for war machines and power armour equipped infantry in addition to tanks and armoured fighting vehicles on a new Landing Ship Tank. The ship is to have a displacement upwards of 8000 tons, carry two helicopters, be armed with a Medium Calibre Gun, two Light Medium Calibre Guns, smaller guns, self-defence missiles and a pair of rocket launcher pods, and carry up to 32 main battle tanks, up to 500 troops and various other vehicles and war machines. It is considered that the LST still has a role, despite the development of the hovercraft, in the heavy landing mission in particular potential theatres of operations.
August 26: A scandalous Brixton man named Mr Tom Narrow attempts to sell his grandmother, pushing her around in a barrow before being dissuaded from his strange notion by the profound puzzlement of his neighbours. He returns her home to her bed and successfully sold his barrow for half a crown, before being cautioned by the local constable over his eccentricity, and promised a trip to the stocks should he contemplate any further granny-selling.
August 27: Ethiopian Emperor Haile Selassie arrives in New York City for an address to the United Nations, followed by a tour of the United States and Canada. Selassie, 83, is still regarded as perhaps the highest profile African world figure and is quite popular amongst the Negro population of the United States for his stalwart resistance to Fascist Italy before and during the Second World War, and his moral leadership and encouragement of Africa's independent states in the subsequent decades.
August 28: The Ministry of Food publishes its annual register of foreign restaurants across Britain, with there being 536 Indian, 357 French, 254 Italian, 227 Chinese, 169 German and Austro-Hungarian, 132 Spanish, 123 Scandinavian and 110 Greek establishments in the country. This would seem to reflect known trends in national food preferences and tastes, whereby Anglicised versions of many dishes are preferred by British diners; this has lead to the development of a number of new versions of Indian curries and Chinese foodstuffs, in addition to Italian derived 'pitsa'. There seems to have been a slight decline in the number of American restaurants, with some of the dishes offered apparently not winning favour with British diners. Domestic establishments, such as Berni Inns, Olde England, Jolly Rogers, Lyons and Miggins Pies (which has recently acquired the Greggs bakery chain in Newcastle), remain the predominant favourites with the British restaurant market, with there being 392, 316, 338, 475 and 324 of each respectively.
August 29: An article in Forestry describes the development of a new form of advanced tree growth enchantment by a group of British druids and dendromancers acting on behalf of the Royal Forestry Society and based on the experimental 'Falkland Method'. Through a combination of growth spells, elven tree-singing, accelerated fertilisation and certain secret methods conveyed by the Tree Lords, a designated woodland can grow from sapling stage to a full 'old' growth forest in 12 months. Plans have been mooted for the growth of large new forests in Scotland, Yorkshire, Ireland and the West Country to provide for greater natural amenity for the nation, as well as the growth of special groves of trees from New Zealand, the Americas and elsewhere.
August 30: Three suspected Soviet spies are arrested in simultaneous operations across Illinois, with the subsequent espionage scandal sparking calls for a new Communist Control Act to act upon the perceived numbers of communist sympathisers in certain industries and roles. Across the Atlantic, the Association of University Teachers in Britain begins debating whether to potentially expel members proved to be involved with illegal Communist front organisations.
August 31: An attempted armed robbery of a Greyhound bus travelling between Chicago and Toronto goes awry after the would-be highwaymen are shot by a 75 year old grandmother on her way to visit her grandchildren, who produced her MAC-10 from her knitting bag in profound irritation at her perusal of her gossip magazine being disrupted. The injured criminals are belabored by the other mainly elderly passengers and are heard to be relieved at the arrival of the police as saving them from the 'Gray Death'.

[jemhouston]

Well done Jackie Chan.

[Simon Darkshade]

His actions were mostly a fortuitous accident rather than intentional, with his disarming actions being very much a bit of natural self preservation. As time goes by, the truth will get lost in a good story.

[Simon Darkshade]

August 1975 Notes

- Hank Williams not dying at 29 does lead to some potentially different development for country and western music which, without the same triggers that kickstarted the side genre of rock and roll, will be in a rather different form in the mid 1970s
- Modernising India is a huge task, but there hasn't been any type of Licence Raj or dabbling with Nehruvian Socialism (in the absence of Nehru and with the more spread out process/journey of independence) so that there isn't a lot of years spent on other paths
- The Type 23s will carry two gun mounts compared to the one of the 21/22s, and will be trying out some interesting torpedo/sea skimmer hybrids
- The JRA, never the most rational actors, haven't quite read the tea leaves yet regarding hostage taking situations
- Jackie Chan disrupts the Hang Seng robbery, not through any deliberate intent, but through a series of fortunate accidents; that such a combination is similar to some of his later films might be a few crossdimensional echoes, or maybe just coincidence
- Prince Charles and Princess Victoria have another son, making the succession fairly safe. The issue of what to do with royal princes isn't quite as pronounced in DE as on Earth, with military careers pretty standard
- The Battle of the South China Sea centres upon the naval battles, but includes some supporting land battles, as well as grand strategy at meetings/conferences similar to Midway and Tora Tora Tora
​- The Emperor of China has a kneejerk response to the dam collapse, but it isn't the worst one
- The Bronfman kidnapping is solved by The A-Team, with characteristic bombastic style, and hundreds of rounds being fired, yet no one being hit for some reason
- A Comoros coup, which then lead to plenty of other coups down the line (including Bob Denard doing his thing), is suppressed. The French aren't quite giving their far flung islands the choice of 'stay or go', but are rather making the former choice for them. This may lead to future consequences
- There is something on them there Bears...
- John Walker's achievement is broadly historical; Coe gets an earlier mention, reflecting greater money being plowed into British athletics, which is still working under the direction of Harold Abrahams
- Stealing a Firefox?
- The Commonwealth Corps is an interesting formation, reflecting the much more concrete nature of the Commonwealth bloc. It is currently intended to be in a quasi-reserve, partially covering the juncture between the Canadian First Army and the British First Army
- Japanese television types getting up to all sorts of Monkey business
- The explorer chap might be onto something in Colombia, but that doesn't stop others thinking that he is just nicking their baby
- More will be heard of the curious case of Dark Elves in North Vietnam. There is a bit of a backstory to that if anyone is interested...
- Venezuela's government chooses not to pull the trigger of full nationalisation, but rather to milk the cow as much as possible without taking on all of the costs of running it, and the opportunity costs of upsetting the US Government
- Development of what we call the CamelBak will be useful for a variety of hobbies and professions
- FN builds a factory in Britain as part of the delicate dance around large scale contracts; whether the British Army and other forces choose a new service rifle or simply a modified version of the current one is still up in the air. There hasn't been a move to a smaller calibre for battle rifles quite yet, with the .256" L2A1 being viewed as quite decent, but not quite enough for every role
- Historically, the Soviets did have a salvo of 8 nuclear tests on this day, but perhaps for more conventional reasons
- August 23 shows some different development of Australian Rules Football, which is heading towards a much earlier 'national competition' that 1987/1990, and then perhaps some international expansion
- Meanwhile, American soccer goes off without a hitch, albeit in Springfield (who are the Atoms instead of Philadelphia)
- New LSTs are perceived as having some utility in terms of getting volume of armoured vehicles ashore, as compared to the @ situation of what the LCAC offered
- Mr Tom Narrow's case is based on a funny old children's poem by James Reeves that was included in his 1950 book The Wandering Moon and Other Poems. I came across it as a very young boy in the Story Time/Story Teller magazine stories on tape back in the mid 1980s https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Story_Teller_(magazine)
- Haile Selassie has not faced a commie coup and dreadful fate, but rather remain on the throne, with Ethiopia gradually changing and modernising. One of the side effects of this is that there won't be the same kind of Ethiopian famine of the early 1980s on these grounds of different governance alone; there is also going to be the flow on effects of some of the new crops developed in 1974...
- Foreign restaurant trends in Britain reflect the somewhat smaller Indian and Chinese diaspora, as well as the American fast food chains hitting a slightly different 'landing ground' ; a tongue in cheek parallel could be the difference between Cortes landing in Mexico in 1519 and landing in China in 1519
- A follow up on rapid forest growth, as well as the Tree Lords/Ent story Reunion, with some interesting consequences for its use outside of the British Isles
- Anti-communist moves in Britain and the US reflect some of the different attitudes not only to Moscow, but to the relative position of the West
​- One shouldn't interrupt old ladies on the bus; you never know what they'll be packing!

[Simon Darkshade]

A medium sized September 1975 preview:

September 1: Exercise Certain Trek, the United States portion of the broader NATO Exercise Reforger 75, begins with the movement of six divisions (1st Cavalry, 2nd Armored, 6th Armored, 8th Infantry, 12th Infantry and 15th Infantry Divisions) and four armoured cavalry regiments (25th, 36th, 50th and 100th) across the North Atlantic by air and sea, along with the deployment of the 4th Marine Expeditionary Force to Denmark and the movement of hundreds of thousands of tons of supplies by the USAF. This year's exercise includes British and Canadian forces, and particularly coordinating the re-entry of forces from those states into the Continent with the US reinforcement flow, and the customary role of the Imperial German Army in the opposing force role. Soviet defence attaches are permitted extremely supervised access to public press conferences, but are restricted from entry to any designated defence zones in Germany, the Low Countries or France, as has been the case since 1947.

September 2: Several dozen people are killed in a purported coup attempt in Ecuador, with elements of the Army attempting to attack the Royal Palace with 10 tanks, before being countered with by rocket strikes from REAF Hunters; the REN remains aloof from the fighting, with some high ranking officers reportedly complaining that it was supposed to be their turn before the Army got uppity and jumped the queue.

September 7: Austro-Hungarian Formula One driver Niki Lauda clinches the World Driving Championship with a hard fought fifth place at the Italian Grand Prix, coming in behind Jim Clark, Graham Hill, Steve McQueen and James Hunt.

September 10: Brash newcomer Apollo Creed defeats George Foreman in a bout at Madison Square Garden, winning the World Heavyweight Championship belt in a unanimous decision. Creed, a charismatic and popular winner, seems to be momentarily unchallenged on the American boxing scene, although some, including journalist Norman Mailer, believe that young Chicago brawler James Lang has the potential for a future challenge, albeit in some years.

September 12: San Francisco Police Department Assistant Chief Harry Callahan receives an unnaturally sweetened cup of coffee from his local diner and, upon returning to complain, disrupts an armed robbery by four gun-toting hoodlums. After explaining his surfeit of sucrose related caffeine conundrum, Callahan dispatches three of the criminals with his trusty Smith and Wesson Model 29 revolver and corners the fourth, inviting him at gunpoint to 'Go ahead, make my day'. Callahan, already one of the most famous police officers in California, will gain a much wider profile after reports of his comments and actions reach the national newspapers, leading some to suggest that he leverage this profile through a potential sidestep into politics; he demurs, stating that his vague resemblance to his second cousin Hollywood actor Clint Eastwood may lead to peculiar complications for certain parts of his anatomy, albeit in not so many words.

September 15: English sporting allrounder Chris Balderstone plays first class cricket and soccer on the same day, bowling Leicestershire to the brink of a substantial first innings lead against Derbyshire, then pulling on the boots to play in the midfield for Doncaster Rovers against Brentford, scoring the winning goal in the final minute in a match that night, before returning to his cricket whites once again the next day. 103 year old C.B. Fry sends him a congratulatory telegram, a case of Jamaican cigars and a Nebuchadnezzar of Lyonesse champagne, stating that now, Balderstone only needed to be selected in a Test for rugger and be elected as MP to sweep the board.

September 19: Death of Great War British RAF fighter ace Air Vice Marshal Sir Lanoe Hawker VC at the age of 84. Only 17864 of the 36,257 pilots of the Royal Air Force to survive the Great War are still living as of 1975, as that pivotal conflict now slips further into the victorious past and the realm of memory. Hawker scored a total of 59 kills, putting him ninth on the list of Great War aces from the British Empire, behind the illustrious list of John Gresham, Snoopy, Raymond Collishaw, Mick Mannock, James McCudden, Billy Bishop, Albert Ball, and Sir James Bigglesworth.

September 20: Maiden broadcast of the long-running US television institution Saturday Night Live with Howard Cosell, with his guests including Frank Sinatra, Yogi Berra, The Beatles, former Vice-President Atticus Finch and talk show stalwart Kermit the Frog. Cosell proves to be an able compere, although somewhat more of a rough diamond than the weeknight 'Big 5' of Johnny Carson on NBC, Dick Cavett on ABC, Merv Griffin on CBS, Steve Allen on MBS and Vaughn Meader on PTN, and Sinatra, Vice-President Finch and Mr. the Frog proving to be their usual witty and engaging selves.

September 28: The premises of a less reputable London evening paper are visited by heavily overcoated detectives from Special Branch, indicating that any further speculation over the 22 Acacia Avenue vice case will be met with X notices and even a swift trip to a Welsh village. The proposed story, based upon reports of a blue police box being seen outside the premises and a man resembling Chief Commissioner Sir Frank Burnside subsequently attending upon the residence, is well and truly abandoned, with the young journalist responsible deciding to leave the profession and immediately emigrate with his family to British Mars.

[Simon Darkshade]

September
September 1: Exercise Certain Trek, the United States portion of the broader NATO Exercise Reforger 75, begins with the movement of six divisions (1st Cavalry, 2nd Armored, 6th Armored, 8th Infantry, 12th Infantry and 15th Infantry Divisions) and four armoured cavalry regiments (25th, 36th, 50th and 100th) across the North Atlantic by air and sea, along with the deployment of the 4th Marine Expeditionary Force to Denmark and the movement of hundreds of thousands of tons of supplies by the USAF. This year's exercise includes British and Canadian forces, and particularly coordinating the re-entry of forces from those states into the Continent with the US reinforcement flow, and the customary role of the Imperial German Army in the opposing force role. Soviet defence attaches are permitted extremely supervised access to public press conferences, but are restricted from entry to any designated defence zones in Germany, the Low Countries or France, as has been the case since 1947.
September 2: Several dozen people are killed in a purported coup attempt in Ecuador, with elements of the Army attempting to attack the Royal Palace with 10 tanks, before being countered with by rocket strikes from REAF Hunters; the REN remains aloof from the fighting, with some high ranking officers reportedly complaining that it was supposed to be their turn before the Army got uppity and jumped the queue.
September 3: A conference on the future of the Solomon Islands opens in Canberra, with representatives of the Colonial Office discussing the potential mechanics of a transfer of administrative responsibility of the protectorate to Australian control as part of the long term Imperial strategy for the security of the South Pacific.
September 4: News reaches Katmandu of the success of the British Mount Everest Southwest Face expedition, with four climbers reaching the summit on the first attempt. The expedition, under Captain Christian Bonington and operating under a committee including Sir Edmund Hillary, Lord Hunt and Sir Keith Mallory, intends to send a further three teams to the top of the world's highest mountain, including one to be filmed by a special aircraft flying up from RAF Mount Everest in Tibet.
September 5: Discovery of lost Spanish treasure galleon Nuestra Señora de Atocha by Dirk Fischer off the Florida Keys, with a special dive locating five bronze cannons bearing her markings, followed by the remarkably well preserved remains of the ship on the ocean floor, including the virtually intact sterncastle, which is packed with an untold fortune of gold and emeralds.
September 6: In the latest manifestation of the Greco-Turkish rapprochement of recent decades, a commercial confetence between Byzantine and Ottoman officials opens in Smyrna to discuss tariff reduction, further bordering crossing normalisation and the construction of an Angora to Constantinople high speed railway.
September 7: Austro-Hungarian Formula One driver Niki Lauda clinches the World Driving Championship with a hard fought fifth place at the Italian Grand Prix, coming in behind Jim Clark, Graham Hill, Steve McQueen and James Hunt. Lauda is a popular champion across the racing world, whilst the victory of veteran Briton Clark during his farewell season appeals to the sentimental section of the audience and press.
September 8: The sixth annual Festival of Light is held in Britain, with the popular grassroots Christian revival movement attracting over 400,000 to its rally in Trafalgar Square and march through London. The Festival, founded jointly by Malcolm Muggeridge, Mary Whitehouse, Sir C.S Lewis and Bishop Brown of Bath and Wells, is spreading to other parts of the Empire, with many observers characterising it as the latest wave of the current Great Revival.
September 9: Commissioning of the 1280 mile long Trans Alaska Pipeline, with the construction and emplacement of the 60” pipe carrying oil from the new fields along the Arctic coast to the south having been complicated by the rugged terrain, the bitter cold of the permafrost, the multitude of wild and protected animal species and more unnatural challenges of Canada’s Far North.
September 10: Brash newcomer Apollo Creed defeats George Foreman in a bout at Madison Square Garden, winning the World Heavyweight Championship belt in a unanimous decision. Creed, a charismatic and popular winner, seems to be momentarily unchallenged on the American boxing scene, although some, including journalist Norman Mailer, believe that young Chicago brawler James Lang has the potential for a future challenge, albeit in some years.
September 11: The South Vietnamese government announces that Saigon will host a World's Fair in 1978 to showcase the recovery of the nation and her beautiful capital from the ravages of the Indochina War, and, as a mark of reconciliation and amity, that communist states including North Vietnam will be invited to erect pavilions in the international section of the Fair.
September 12: San Francisco Police Department Assistant Chief Harry Callahan receives an unnaturally sweetened cup of coffee from his local diner and, upon returning to complain, disrupts an armed robbery by four gun-toting hoodlums. After explaining his surfeit of sucrose related caffeine conundrum, Callahan dispatches three of the criminals with his trusty Smith and Wesson Model 29 revolver and corners the fourth, inviting him at gunpoint to 'Go ahead, make my day'. Callahan, already one of the most famous police officers in California, will gain a much wider profile after reports of his comments and actions reach the national newspapers, leading some to suggest that he leverage this profile through a potential sidestep into politics; he demurs, stating that his vague resemblance to his second cousin Hollywood actor Clint Eastwood may lead to peculiar complications for his backside, albeit in not so many words.
September 13: Munich detectives under the command of Kriminaloberinspektor Stephan Derrick arrest six suspected members of the Baader-Meinhof gang in a carefully planned predawn raid, operating alongside a cunning canine Inspektor temporarily detached from Wien Kriminalpolizei and private investigator Nick Knatterton.
September 14: A deranged Dutchman attempts to slash at the celebrated Rembrandt masterpiece The Night Watch at the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam, but is halted by the implacable hand of the spectre of the long-dead artist, who then relieves the hapless would-be vandal of his razor and delivers a number of ringing blows and kicks to his hindquarters in chastisement.
September 15: English sporting allrounder Chris Balderstone plays first class cricket and soccer on the same day, bowling Leicestershire to the brink of a substantial first innings lead against Derbyshire, then pulling on the boots to play in the midfield for Doncaster Rovers against Brentford, scoring the winning goal in the final minute in a match that night, before returning to his cricket whites once again the next day. 103 year old C.B. Fry sends him a congratulatory telegram, a case of Jamaican cigars and a Nebuchadnezzar of Lyonesse champagne, stating that now, Balderstone only needed to be selected in a Test for rugger and be elected as MP to sweep the board.
September 16: Korean serial killer Kim Dae-doo is captured by police after being remorselessly tracked down by Seoul police after a string of brutal murders in the capital that came as the climax of a crime spree across the southern half of the Korean peninsula. After vigorous interrogation, he confesses to his crimes, and is swiftly tried and sentenced to death.
September 17: Dannion Brinkley, a Vietnam veteran working as a deliveryman in South Carolina, is struck by lightning during a freak electrical storm whilst answering a telephone call. He is initially pronounced dead at the hospital before being miraculously revived, and subsequently relays his experience of the afterlife and the redemptive power of love to others, making amends for his previous act of anger and aggression to family, friends and strangers. An investigative team from the FBI's Y-Files office discovers evidence that a man matching the description of the individual known as Jonathan Smith was in attendance at the hospital on the night of the incident.
September 18: A Michigan man attends a branch of the National Bank and Trust Company and asks to convert a 100,000 Reichmarks note from 1923, the height of post Great War hyperinflation, for US currency. The teller, being unconversant with the vagaries of the history of Teutonic fiscal failures, provides a sum equivalent to the current standard of 2.5 Marks per dollar, or $40,000. He is charged with fraud, with the excuse that he did not overtly ask for the current exchange rate not being accepted by the district attorney as a good faith measure, and sentenced to imprisonment for 1 year in Joliet; the bank teller is ordered by the bank to retake junior high school history at her own expense, but retains her job.
September 19: Death of Great War British RAF fighter ace Air Vice Marshal Sir Lanoe Hawker VC at the age of 84. Only 17864 of the 36,257 pilots of the Royal Air Force to survive the Great War are still living as of 1975, as that pivotal conflict now slips further into the victorious past and the realm of memory. Hawker scored a total of 59 kills, putting him ninth on the list of Great War aces from the British Empire, behind the illustrious list of John Gresham, Snoopy, Raymond Collishaw, Mick Mannock, James McCudden, Billy Bishop, Albert Ball, and Sir James Bigglesworth.
September 20: Maiden broadcast of the long-running US television institution Saturday Night Live with Howard Cosell, with his guests including Frank Sinatra, Yogi Berra, The Beatles, former Vice-President Atticus Finch and talk show stalwart Kermit the Frog. Cosell proves to be an able compere, although somewhat more of a rough diamond than the weeknight 'Big 5' of Johnny Carson on NBC, Dick Cavett on ABC, Merv Griffin on CBS, Steve Allen on MBS and Vaughn Meader on PTN, and Sinatra, Vice-President Finch and Mr. the Frog proving to be their usual witty and engaging selves.
September 21: Australian Prime Minister Bob Hawke attends the latest Australian underground nuclear test at Maralinga in Outback South Australia, approvingly noting the device's success and apparent strength to accompanying journalists as being an important step in the neverending journey of Australia's national security.
September 22: Cuban lawyer and politician Laurence Chester wins an internal election by other MPs as the new Leader of the opposition Liberal Party in the West Indian Parliament in the Federal capital of Elizabeth, Trinidad. Chester, 39, is known for his fiery public speaking, expansive intellect and keen interest in representing the interests of a wide range of everyday Cubans, being able to speak the minority Spanish tongue as well as his native English.
September 23: US Army air cavalry units begin testing the XM-204 125mm Soft Recoil Howitzer on mounting aboard Kaman Rotodynes as part of a broader effort for the development of integrated aerial artillery for air-to-ground fire support of heliborne assault units. It is scheduled that test flights and operations will also incorporate the almost entirely dormant force of the 24 M-105 flying tanks left on Earth (with the other 26 remaining vehicles being employed for testing of plasma shields and other advanced top secret weapons systems in the subterranean ranges beneath Edison Base on the South Pole of Luna) in a considerable surprise. Proponents of Aerial Rocket and Missile Artillery contend that airborne howitzers provide at best a limited capacity that does not justify the redirection of funding and assets away from their own weapons systems, but, in the words of Brigadier-General F. Burns, USA, "They just would say that, wouldn't they?"
September 24: A stand off at the Bunker Hill Military Academy in Illinois over what is described as a misunderstanding regarding land development and the associated future of the school is resolved peacefully through the mediation of retired General of the Armies Douglas MacArthur, whose telephone conversation with the ardent cadet major persuades the youth to see sense before matters escalate beyond his control,
September 25: Soviet musician, actor and artist Vladimir Vysotsky begins his long awaited tour of the United States, with the cultural importance of this sign of a slight thaw in Soviet-American relations being hailed by many American commentators as a realisation of the humanity of the other side.
September 26: Arab Union oil ministers meet in Baghdad to discuss coordination of petroleum production pricing strategies in the upcoming OPEC meeting in Washington, with a range of strategies being mooted, ranging from the more extreme suggestions of the Iraqi delegates to the more moderate positions of the Arabians. Hampering a cohesive approach is the effective exclusion of the British protected Trucial States and colonial Kuwait from the equation, leading to creative proposals for approaches to certain other producers in the region.
September 27: North Melbourne win their first VFL premiership, defeating Hawthorn 19.11 (125) to 12.15 (87) in front of a crowd of 179,254 at the MCG, with Phil Baker and Arnold Briedis kicking 5 apiece, and Keith Greig best afield. The hard fought grand final comes after what is being described as a ‘golden season’ of high scoring quality football, with a record five players kicking more than 100 goals (Hawthorn’s Peter Hudson with 141, Collingwood’s Peter McKenna with 132, Footscray’s Kelvin Templeton with 127, Essendon’s Geoff Blethyn with 116 and Geelong’s Larry Donohue with 108) and brilliant Collingwood forward Phil Carman winning the Brownlow with 25 votes. The expansion of the competition to 16 teams with the addition of the Frankston Dragons, Sandringham Zebras, Port Melbourne Sharks and Coburg Panthers has lead to some complications, but is seen as a way forward to the growth of the VFL towards a possible national destiny.
September 28: The premises of a less reputable London evening paper are visited by heavily overcoated detectives from Special Branch, indicating that any further speculation over the 22 Acacia Avenue vice case will be met with X notices and even a swift trip to a Welsh village. The proposed story, based upon reports of a blue police box being seen outside the premises and a man resembling Chief Commissioner Sir Frank Burnside subsequently attending upon the residence, is well and truly abandoned, with the young journalist responsible deciding to leave the profession and immediately emigrate with his family to British Mars.
September 29: A siege at The Spaghetti House, an Italian restaurant in Knightsbridge, comes to a spectacular conclusion when, in full view of BBC Television cameras conducting a live update on the crime, Scotland Yard's Special Wizardry and Tactics storms the rear storeroom by blasting through the walls and doors with arcane stun grenades, and subsequently shooting all three with their new L25 submachine guns. The unharmed hostages are hurried out by the police commandos, who appear to be clad in some chameleon-like form of cloaks and uniforms. A Metropolitan Police spokeswizard states that there their policy remains that there can be no negotiation with crime or terrorism, a not unpopular sentiment since the London Outrage.
September 30: US War Department officials and scientific advisors arrive in Tokyo on a special C-2707 for urgent discussions with their counterparts from the Japanese Ministry of Defence regarding apparent breakthroughs in the development of certain advanced war machines being produced under the SCMR (Special Combat Mechanized Robotics) program that are apparently more than meets the eye, according to the latest cryptic telegram.

[jemhouston]

How many kills did Snoopy get?

[Simon Darkshade]

69, including shooting down the Red Baron, although Von Richthofen survived (with permanently affected pride, mind you).

[Belushi TD]

69, including shooting down the Red Baron, although Von Richthofen survived (with permanently affected pride, mind you).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sh-J4GSPgAM

One of my favorite songs from WWI!

Belushi TD

[Simon Darkshade]

Indubitably. There are some other songs littered about, as well as some slightly …hidden… characters.

It is somewhat bemusing that, out of 61 days of material, only Snoopy and Jackie Chan arouse interest.

[Belushi TD]

Indubitably. There are some other songs littered about, as well as some slightly …hidden… characters.

It is somewhat bemusing that, out of 61 days of material, only Snoopy and Jackie Chan arouse interest.

There's two things going on here, I suspect.

One is that you've done a very good job in the past of explaining a lot of the appearances. For example, Dirty Harry. And this time, you explicitly make the link with Clint Eastwood in an amusing way that doesn't really (at least in my opinion) require comment.

The second one is that I don't have NEARLY as much time to peruse and comment like I used to do. Unfortunately, as much as I'd like to get into an in depth discussion of the timeline, as its one of my favorite parts, I don't have the bandwidth. For that I'd like to apologize. Your work deserves much more appreciation, particularly from those of us who have been paying attention and are aware of its quality.

Thank you for your creations.

Belushi TD

[Simon Darkshade]

On the second point, I'm well aware of that. Blokes have lives, wives, and or have to take their sons to branch meetings.

I fully understand that; I just like to get the occasional comment on the serious side of things as well as the tongue in cheek references and what not.

As well as the timeline stuff, I am working on a very long awaited update to something involving kimchi, as well as a new series of stories about 1939, or the lead up to the outbreak of the Second World War. Both of those are a bit less quippy and pop cultural by their nature. Once we get an extra body at work and I can use some of my leave, then I have some very interesting writing plans.

[jemhouston]

Looking forward to it.

[Simon Darkshade]

September 1975 Notes

- Reforger is based around the reinforcement of the Seventh Army in Germany and the new Ninth Army in Austria-Hungary, with each of the six corps assigned to those units receiving a round out division to link up with prepositioned equipment sets, and a full corps to reinforce each field army with their equipment moving via very fast sealift and the airbridge. That force of 24 divisions would then be further reinforced by the next wave of the First and Second Armies, then further USARNG and USAR units. There are additional sub-plans for the reinforcement of Scandinavia/AFNORTH and Bulgaria and Yugoslavia/AFSOUTH
- The Ecuadorian coup capers are part story hook seeding, part wry comment on the absurdity of some parts of South American coup culture (with other parts being more in the horror territory for the innocent victims and civilian populace) and part ongoing development of some broader plot points in the South American Cold War
- Historically, Britain did dabble with palming off the Solomons to Australia a bit earlier in the postwar era, but it comes in a slightly different context here
- The Everest expedition is largely historical (note the last committee member), with the most interesting difference being the 'air base' on the north side of the mountain in Tibet
- The Greeks and Turks are learning, slowly, to get along, as the alternative isn't really viable anymore
- Some different racing names crop up in Formula One, with a few of them going to have some rather longer lives
- The Festival of Light is a somewhat different movement here, without the same 'permissive society' driving its emergence, which manifests itself in the tenor of it all being rather more spiritual than socio-political; to use an American parallel from our times, more Billy Graham than Pat Robertson
- The TAPS is somewhat similar, albeit existing in a Canadian Alaska, and doesn't have strategically important yet undefended pumping stations just crying out for a Spetsnaz raid that could lead to Rock Hudson nuking Brian Keith. That would be a tad negligent
- Apollo Creed starts his rise to the top, and he is thinking about a special bicentennial fight with an unknown. There may be some further complications, including someone that others think is no longer alive...
- The Saigon World's Fair (the name not being changed to Expo in the 1960s) will be quite the event, both from the positive evidence of recovery from the war and the concern that some malign entities might try to upset the event
- Mayor Harry Callahan does have a nice ring to it, even if looking like that damn actor cousin of his would be a pain in his donkey, apparently
- A nice Germanic police link up is good enjoyable fun for the whole family, with plenty of wurstsemmel. And remember, no matter how kind your children are, German ones are always kinder
- The Night Watch seemingly has a sort of night watchman
- Chris Balderstone's achievement is historical; having a rather aged Fry around to mark the occasion is a nice bit of symmetry
- Dannion Brinkley's historical experience of being struck by lightning is slightly complicated here by some wandering do-gooders who have 'the stuff' and that the Y-Files can never quite catch up with
- The 100,000 Reichmark note case is historical, but the legal ramifications are slightly different; it is perhaps arguable, on the sparse facts available, that it wasn't presented in good faith, given that anyone knowing what it was would be aware that it was worth more as a curio than any real monetary value
- Hawker kicks around for a lot longer here, allowing a brief segue into the different WW1 British aces, including the world's most famous beagle
- Saturday Night Live here is the short lived ABC show with Howard Cosell, reflecting some very different televisual tastes in the Dark Earth USA of 1975. Through some very able producers, it is able to be 'spun' as a bit of a tongue-in-cheek show, made successful by being able to afford excellent guests, having a co-host who will be revealed in due course, a decent house band and some innovative use of animated segments. Note the 'Big 5 Networks' having MBS and PTN along with the historical trio, and Vaughn Meader not having his career die with President Kennedy; it is interesting to explore different cultural developments, even though from the list of hosts, my tastes would run more to Dick Cavett, as he had a very interesting intellectual edge to his interviews/chats
- Bob Hawke being something of a hawk is a function both of the different political history of Australia, including the successful assassination of Arthur Calwell, and of some of his rather bellicose public statements of the late 1960s of how he would use the 'A-bomb'
- Laurence Chester might be familiar to some by a different name. Consider here that Britain has kept Cuba since the 18th century, and thus that certain names have become anglicised over the decades and centuries; the Spanish equivalent to 'Chester' would be Castro, incidentally
- The XM-204, in its historical 105mm version, was likely a bit of a weapon in search of a role; with a longer life for the notion of air cavalry, it is being explored in a more protracted sense.
- The Bunker Hill Military Academy situation refers to the film 'Taps', with MacArthur living a bit longer and being regarded by many with a sense of revered memory such that he provides the kind of circuit breaker not present historically. My second option was Eisenhower, who is still alive, but I needed a good voice for a radiotelephone for the 'scene'
- Vysotsky's tour is a sign of a bit of a mid-1970s Cold War thaw of sorts
- The Arab oil ministers are definitely up to something; just which something is left open for now
- Australian Rules football bits and pieces are added for the benefit of any eventual fellow Antipodean readers
- There is a lot more to the 22 Acacia Avenue case than meets the eye, with the presence of a blue police box possibly meaning something, or maybe being misdirection
- A very different end to the Spaghetti House Siege, not out of any overt or inherent preference for violent solutions in and of themself, but rather as an illustration of how British law enforcement's attitudes are different in the aftermath of the London Outrage (although in the absence of anything like the @ IRA bombing campaign), and in turn from being downstream from other cultural and political developments
- Transformers? Eh, why not
-

[Bernard Woolley]

Harry Callahan a politician? Stranger things have happened, but doesn't he hate politicians? Now Chief of Police I can imagine.

[Simon Darkshade]

He is already Assistant Chief, having risen due to sheer effectiveness and the slightly different political climes; to go a step further would be very doable.

Let's just say that he is a figure with some potential in some areas; like the idea of Mr. T as Secretary of Defense, it may or may not occur, but is amusing to contemplate.

[jemhouston]

Harry would step into politics carefully. After all a man has to know his limitations.

[Simon Darkshade]

British Historical Unemployment Rate

1950 1.82336%
1951 1.56738%
1952 2.35897%
1953 2.03215%
1954 1.76805%
1955 1.55036%
1956 1.63988%
1957 1.88846%
1958 2.52897%
1959 2.6424%
1960 2.14188%
1961 2.07118%
1962 2.60135%
1963 3.10378%
1964 2.39724%
1965 2.26364%
1966 2.47228%
1967 3.37197%
1968 3.48532%
1969 3.49888%
1970 3.75246%
1971 4.13847%
1972 4.34326%
1973 3.65096%
1974 3.64938%
1975 4.49688%

1950s: 1.98% average
1960s: 2.74% average (but consider the 1960-1966 data and the 1967-1969 as two separate periods)
1970s: 4.8% (leaving out the second half of the decade makes this period look nice)

Dark Earth Unemployment Rate

1950: 1.32%
1951: 1.01%
1952: 0.85%
1953: 0.77%
1954: 0.7%
1955: 0.62%
1956: 0.43%
1957: 0.96%
1958: 0.62%
1959: 0.56%
1960: 0.4%
1961: 0.63%
1962: 0.87%
1963: 0.69%
1964: 0.52%
1965: 0.47%
1966: 0.39%
1967: 0.36%
1968: 0.32%
1969: 0.29%
1970: 0.33%
1971: 0.48%
1972: 0.52%
1973: 1.56%
1974: 0.48%
1975: 0.36%

1950s average: 0.784%
1960s average: 0.494%
1970s average: 0.622%

So what are the reasons for the noticeable differences?

Firstly, the artificial distortion of the labour market by Universal National Service calling up between 1 and 1.2 million young men every year into the Armed Forces and the Empire Labour Service plays a part in kicking numbers down.

This is on top of the markedly larger size of the professional Army, RN and RAF, even accounting for the larger population. Historically, the RN of 1975 had 76,000 personnel, the RAF 95,000 and the Army 167,000 for a total of 338,000 from a population of 56.23 million, or 0.6% of the population; the Dark Earth RN has 875,629, the Army 1,562,847, and the RAF 987,254 for 3,425,730 from a population of 162,954,887, or 2.1% of the population.

Whilst the British Armed Forces were steadily declining in numbers historically over the 1960s (from 522,000 or 0.99% of the population in 1960 to 373,000 or 0.67% of the population in 1970), the same hasn't happened here. There was an increase in numbers for participation in the Vietnam War, which is now mostly reverting to a more Cold War peacetime structure.

The historical post WW2 peak as a fraction of the population was 1.73% in 1952; if scaled to the relative size of the populations, the historical British Armed Forces would consist of an RN of 220,248 men, an RAF of 275,311 men and an Army of 483,967 for a total of 979,526. The extra 2.45 million men making up a noticeable chunk of the numbers, but are only part of the story.

Secondly, the British economy in the 1960s and 70s, on Dark Earth and on Earth, is at that particular technological sweet spot whereby there are new emerging industries, whilst other older industries (which may be termed 'legacy industries' without taking on the somewhat disparaging value judgment that sometimes goes with that term) are still going strong as ones which demand manpower. Technology has also not quite advanced so much as to render many of those jobs victims to automation and rationalisation; there are ticket inspectors on each bus and train, plenty of nightwatchmen, the docks always demand fresh labour, and domestic service hasn't yet quite disappeared in the same way.

Thirdly, the generally better economy has a lot of short term/casual positions available in labouring, removals, transport and construction, whether it be on the motorways/Royal Highways or building New Towns.

Fourthly, the Government does act act as a reserve Employer of Last Resort under some legislative provisions pushed through by the Barton Government during their first term in office. As it happens, this has never really been fully put to the test (with 1973 passing a bit too quickly if painfully), but it is envisaged that jobs would be provided in the NHS (in various cleaning, logistical and labouring roles), the Civil Defence Service, the Ministry of Works, the British Transport Commission, building schools for the National Education Service, the National Shipyards, the Ministry of Mines, Power and Energy (with a fair few projected as being sent down pit), the Ministry of Agricultural, Fisheries and Food (both through the plentiful British Restaurants and through direction of labour to farms) and various cultural/creative programmes similar to the WPA Federal Project Number One in the Great Depression.

Fifthly, the school leaving age is higher in Dark Earth, having been at 16 since the end of the Second World War rather than 15, which provides for a subtle yet noticeable difference.

Sixthly, there isn't the late 1960s 'perfect storm' of economic chickens coming home to roost, leading to the devaluation crisis and basically half a dozen problems kicking in at once after what had ostensibly seemed a quite reasonable first half of the decade. Nor is there an Oil Crisis of 1973 to make the likely recession a protracted U shaped one.

[Belushi TD]

On the second point, I'm well aware of that. Blokes have lives, wives, and or have to take their sons to branch meetings.

I fully understand that; I just like to get the occasional comment on the serious side of things as well as the tongue in cheek references and what not.

As well as the timeline stuff, I am working on a very long awaited update to something involving kimchi, as well as a new series of stories about 1939, or the lead up to the outbreak of the Second World War. Both of those are a bit less quippy and pop cultural by their nature. Once we get an extra body at work and I can use some of my leave, then I have some very interesting writing plans.

HA!!! Branch meetings! Well played, sir. Well played.

[Simon Darkshade]

Thanks; I was trying to work in further tree related puns for the occasion, but was stumped. All in all, one wouldn’t need branch meetings to know to stick to terra firma.

Alright, now I’m out of the tree fall jokes. Which will be a bit of a re-leaf.