Jokes

[M.Becker]

Actuall event at Wal-Mart.

That’s so twisted…
MC3 Murder Creek Cattle Co. · Folgen
Gestern um 05:35
·
Waycross Woman Arrested After Turning Numbered Pigs Loose in Walmart
WAYCROSS, GA — Shoppers at the Waycross Walmart were thrown into confusion Saturday afternoon after a local woman allegedly released four pigs—each spray‑painted with the numbers 1, 2, 3, and 5—into the store, triggering what authorities later described as “a logistical nightmare disguised as a math problem.”
The Incident
According to witnesses, 47‑year‑old Charlene Mixon entered the store pushing a buggy that appeared to be shaking and occasionally grunting. Employees assumed it was either a wobbly wheel or a normal Saturday.
Moments later, Mixon allegedly opened the buggy, shouted “Run free!”, and four pigs scattered across the store—one toward Housewares, one toward Grocery, one toward Electronics, and one directly into the Vision Center.
The Numbering Scheme
The pigs were labeled 1, 2, 3, and 5, which immediately caused confusion among staff.
> “We spent half an hour looking for pig number 4,” said assistant manager Trevor Haskins. “Then we realized there wasn’t one. I’m still mad about it.”
Several customers joined the search, believing it was some kind of promotional event.
Police Response
Waycross Police arrived quickly, though officers admitted they were “not trained for livestock deployed with psychological warfare.”
One officer slipped near the bacon section, which he later described as “deeply ironic.”
All four pigs were eventually captured using:
- Two laundry baskets
- A pallet of marshmallows
- And one determined elderly greeter who said she had “handled worse at the Piggly Wiggly years ago”
Mixon was arrested without incident, though she did request that officers “let the pigs finish what they started.”
Charges
Authorities say she faces:
- Disorderly conduct
- Livestock at large
- Interference with commerce
- And “creating unnecessary suspense via missing number 4”
The pigs were unharmed and transported to the Ware County Animal Control facility, where staff described them as “friendly and surprisingly fast.”
🗣 Community Reaction
Locals have already dubbed the event “The Great Walmart Pig Caper.”

[Poohbah]

Actuall event at Wal-Mart.

That’s so twisted…
MC3 Murder Creek Cattle Co. · Folgen
Gestern um 05:35
·
Waycross Woman Arrested After Turning Numbered Pigs Loose in Walmart
WAYCROSS, GA — Shoppers at the Waycross Walmart were thrown into confusion Saturday afternoon after a local woman allegedly released four pigs—each spray‑painted with the numbers 1, 2, 3, and 5—into the store, triggering what authorities later described as “a logistical nightmare disguised as a math problem.”
The Incident
According to witnesses, 47‑year‑old Charlene Mixon entered the store pushing a buggy that appeared to be shaking and occasionally grunting. Employees assumed it was either a wobbly wheel or a normal Saturday.
Moments later, Mixon allegedly opened the buggy, shouted “Run free!”, and four pigs scattered across the store—one toward Housewares, one toward Grocery, one toward Electronics, and one directly into the Vision Center.
The Numbering Scheme
The pigs were labeled 1, 2, 3, and 5, which immediately caused confusion among staff.
> “We spent half an hour looking for pig number 4,” said assistant manager Trevor Haskins. “Then we realized there wasn’t one. I’m still mad about it.”
Several customers joined the search, believing it was some kind of promotional event.
Police Response
Waycross Police arrived quickly, though officers admitted they were “not trained for livestock deployed with psychological warfare.”
One officer slipped near the bacon section, which he later described as “deeply ironic.”
All four pigs were eventually captured using:
- Two laundry baskets
- A pallet of marshmallows
- And one determined elderly greeter who said she had “handled worse at the Piggly Wiggly years ago”
Mixon was arrested without incident, though she did request that officers “let the pigs finish what they started.”
Charges
Authorities say she faces:
- Disorderly conduct
- Livestock at large
- Interference with commerce
- And “creating unnecessary suspense via missing number 4”
The pigs were unharmed and transported to the Ware County Animal Control facility, where staff described them as “friendly and surprisingly fast.”
🗣 Community Reaction
Locals have already dubbed the event “The Great Walmart Pig Caper.”

The skipped number is pure artistry.

[Belushi TD]

I question the illegality of skipping #4.

Of course, we've been reading similar variations of this story for 20+ years on the internet. The best part is that its still funny!!!!

Belushi TD

[Nik_SpeakerToCats]

So, I'd ordered yet-another two four-packs of 'Useful' lidded 24-litre storage tubs from Amazon.

Usually, they arrive four to a carton, but always minus tracking data. So, courier delivery is a bit 'lucky dip'...

Arrived home from weekly shop at local 'Budget Mall' to find front yard's wheelie bin parade deranged.

Yes, the tubs had been delivered sooner than expected.

And, all eight (8) were neatly stacked behind the re-arranged bins like so many 'giant Lego' blocks...

Upside, nice to know that courier has a 'Good Sense of Humour'...

And, for a change, the weather was clement rather than raining side-ways yet-again, yet-again...

[M.Becker]

God created the first Swiss and asked him...

"What do you want?"

"Mountains," replied the Swiss.

God created mountains for the Swiss and asked him:

"What else do you want?"

"Cows," said the Swiss.

God created cows for the Swiss.

The Swiss milked the cows, tasted the milk and asked, "Will you taste, dear God?"

The Swiss filled a cup with milk and handed it to God.

God took the cup, drank it and said, "The milk is really quite good. What more do you want?"

"CHF 5.20."

[Belushi TD]

What's the definition of a minerologist?

Its a person who can take one look at a platinum blonde and tell instantly if she's a virgin metal or a common ore.



I'll show myself out.

Belushi TD

[David Newton]

Why do people who become barristers and are on a diet really struggle to give up chocolate?

Spoiler!

Because they're called to The Bar.

[David Newton]

What is the most important blood vessel for all spelunkers?

Spoiler!

The venae cavae!

[Bob Dedmon]

What is the most important blood vessel for all spelunkers?

Spoiler!

The venae cavae!

you may leave now.

[jemhouston]

Texas's new congressional district map

from the Bee.



https://x.com/TheBabylonBee/status/2050 ... 15/photo/1

[David Newton]

What vegetable is a really serious asphyxiation hazard for non-scientists?

Spoiler!

The arti-choke!

[Nathan45]

[M.Becker]

A CNN reporter, a BBC reporter, and an Israeli commando are captured by Hamas in Gaza. The leader of the terrorists said he'd grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.

The CNN Reporter said, "I’d like one last hamburger with fries.”

The leader nodded and said it would be done.

The BBC Reporter said, "I want to describe the scene here and what’s about to happen so my government knows I did the job until the end.”

The leader nodded and said it would be done.

Then he turned to the Israeli commando and said, “And what is your final wish?”

“Kick me in the butt,” said the soldier.

“Do not mock me, Jew.”

“I’m not kidding. I want you to kick me in the butt.”

So the terrorist leader shoved him into the open and kicked him in the behind. The soldier went sprawling but rolled to his knees, pulled a pistol they hadn't found, and shot the leader dead. Then he grabbed a rifle from another terrorist and suddenly they were all dead or fleeing.

"You could've done that all along?" asked the Brit.

"Yeah, why did you want to be kicked in the butt?" asked the American.

“If I hadn't," replied the Israeli, “You two would have reported that I was the aggressor."

[M.Becker]

Brazilian Hell...

A man dies and goes to hell.

There, he finds that there is a different hell for each country.

He goes to the German hell and asks,

"What do they do there?"

He is told: "First, they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."

The man doesn't like it, so he moves on and checks out the American hell, the Russian hell and hells of other countries.

He finds that they're all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Brazilian hell and finds that there is a long queue of people waiting to get in.

Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"

He is told: "First, they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Brazilian devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."

"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells; so why are so many people waiting to get in here?" wonders the man.

He is told, "Because the maintenance here is so bad that the electric chair does not work. Someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the Brazilian devil is a former government servant, so he just comes, signs the attendance register, and then goes to the canteen."

[gral]

Sometimes, they don't even sign the attendance register.