Rideable Pigs

[Luddite]

Nope, not joking. Why not? Humans have, over the millennia, bred animals for all sorts of things. Horses in all shapes, colors and sizes, dogs from utilitarian to ridiculous, and pigs to make them much fatter.
Pigs have proven themselves to be domesticable, unlike, say, Zebras. They are incredibly intelligent, smarter IMO than even horses. They can eat just about anything, which means no more carrying tons of forage if on campaign. Selective breeding to make their legs longer is what we'd need, and probably more hair to help in cold weather. Another limiting factor is that they don't sweat, which means no desert campaigning, really not even hot weather campaigning. How big could we get them? Pony size is my guess, and that'd probably be the limit, but that is just a guess.
Can you imagine, hogs pulling carts, Armored Battle Pigs, long legged, with long teeth, and a rider with a bow or lance? Smallish human riders of course, same with chariot crews.

[Simon Darkshade]

https://nayturr.com/can-you-ride-a-pig- ... ding-pigs/

Maybe for child soldiers, and even then, Mr. Piggy doesn't seem to be designed ideally for it.

[Nik_SpeakerToCats]

Pig breeds already include some whopper porkers.

I'm reminded that 'Boar Spears' traditionally have a cross-bar to prevent 'stuck' animals going 'FU_TOO !' and downing wielder 'With Extreme Prejudice'...

IIRC, pigs have been harnessed to draw small farm-carts...

Given riled porcine attitudes, the woes of farmers trying to deal with feral pig mobs, and those animals' typical infestation with *transmissible* flukes and other zoonotic parasites. Also, yes, 'Swine Flu'...

FWIW, those flukes plus arid-zone fuel poverty partly explains why several cultures shunned them as food.

Upside, if you have enough fuel to cook them amply long enough to dispose of flukes and their eggs, they'd probably taste better than horse-meat...

Tangential, but my Mum, step-daughter of war-time European Chef, learned to discern Beef from Horse. She wondered why 'Regional' French considered Horse a delicacy but, hey, they ate snails (*) and frog-legs, too...

*) 'Shell-fish, Land-Based'...

[Craiglxviii]

Armoured Battle Boars? Hell yeah.

[Sukhoiman]

poor eyesight and lack of neck (to have vantage point for the head) could be major issues even if they were genetically scaleable to a x2 or x3 etc.

In that getting the proper temperament and confidence feedback loop in that role that horses (and elephants to some degree) enjoy. I guess camels too.

It may be why cattle also never became properly rideable and are just lot more useful for pulling instead.

Honestly the horse is just such an excellent all-rounder intrinsically in everything that matters in crucial ways....the details in rearing and training horses are something else once you talk with folks that are in that discipline.

[Kunkmiester]

Makes me think of the dwarves riding rams in the last Hobbit movie.

Let's just genetically engineer a ridable version of everything.

[Luddite]

They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. It should be no surprise then, that my childhood experiences with hogs were not so different from dads, and God knows what Grandpa's were like. Dad would get atop the farrowing house (the hut type on skids) and wait for one for one of the hogs to emerge. Then he'd drop onto the unsuspecting porcine's back, and proceed to ride the squealing porker until it tried to knock him off by running back inside the farrowing house to emerge from the opposite side. Then he'd jump back on top the farrowing house, and jump onto the hog from whichever side he could, or at least attempt it. The real trick in this wasn't staying on the hog, it was not getting mauled by an angry sow or boar, well and truly pissed a hooman child was riding it. Fair number of stories about my old man.
A couple decades later, I, as a small child, would low crawl (having been essentially spoon fed stories of WWI and Korea from Dad and his friends) up to the hog lot, slide up against a goodly sized Black Locust tree, then snipe the boars when they mounted a sow. I was using a very low powered lever action BB gun, never the less, it obviously hurt. Looking back I'm still amazed I managed to remain undetected and uneaten.......

I'm thinking that we should try for crossbreeding the swine for longer legs. Photos of wild boar show them with legs that look proportionally longer, I think this is due to the amount of exercise they are getting foraging, travelling, etc, as compared to most swine that are confined to a feed lot. Longer legs means more ability to pull carts, wagons and such.

[Luddite]

Armoured Battle Boars? Hell yeah.

Can you imagine Peter Dinklage, armored up, with lance and shield and such, riding a fully armored one? GLORIOUS!

[Belushi TD]

I........



Ummm.........



Ok..... Now I feel the need to do a remake of The Battle of the Five Armies.



Belushi TD

[kdahm]

The problem with putting a saddle on a pig is that the anatomy is almost entirely the opposite of what is needed for a saddle. A very short neck, a back with a large spiny hump from the spinal processes, and a wide body are all contraindications. The saddle would slip forward or aft easily, the rider's legs would have to resemble the town bicycle, and putting in a bit and reins would both be difficult and provide poor control.

Might as well saddle and ride a hippopotamus.

[Calder]

Might as well saddle and ride a hippopotamus.

Now we are talking! My army of battle hippo will crush everything before us.

[Sukhoiman]

up and until to meeting my army of rhinos.

business end first of a horn matters!

[jemhouston]

up and until to meeting my army of rhinos.

business end first of a horn matters!

In case the image vanishes https://1drv.ms/i/c/c439069d995aae35/Ed ... g?e=n0OLSl

[Craiglxviii]

The problem with putting a saddle on a pig is that the anatomy is almost entirely the opposite of what is needed for a saddle. A very short neck, a back with a large spiny hump from the spinal processes, and a wide body are all contraindications. The saddle would slip forward or aft easily, the rider's legs would have to resemble the town bicycle, and putting in a bit and reins would both be difficult and provide poor control.

Might as well saddle and ride a hippopotamus.

Even better!!! Battle Hippos! I can see it now!

[Davion Highlander]

Why not have the Marines use armoured hippos and the regular army use battle rhinos? Best of both worlds!

[M.Becker]